Big Boy

Just back from the gym: chest, shoulders and triceps today. First day in the gym in a few weeks, but I've been working out at home with fair regularity (3 sets of 15 crunches, pushups, and supermans, 2-5 nights a week, + sun salutations and chinups/pullups in the mornings, plus I got in a shoulder workout and a forearm workout, and I've been working on posture with advice from my chiropractor).

I was pleased to note that my aerobic strut on the elliptical trainer (which took several weeks to work up to 18 minutes) did not falter, even though I've done nothing aerobic-specific for about a month. 15 min 70 rpm and 3 minute cooldown at 50 rpm.

A genuine bodybuilder was working out today, amazing condition, white, I'd have put him somewhere in his 30's, probably younger than me, wearing a torn-out t-tank and a baseball cap, outrageously broad shoulders with big traps, deep back with crazy-wide lats, wide, well defined pectoral muscles, big shoulders and arms, great calves though not quite symmetrical with his upperbody size. While he was no pro-category, the man was in competitve condition, a different breed than anyone else in there. I'd guess him at around 5'10", maybe 210, 220, hard to guess, very lean, conditioned pounds. smooth, but not shaved, skin. Dark hair with a thin-groomed beard. Nice to look at.

I kept my eye on him as he did shoulder work, he moved into the free weight area to do some standing shrugs on a smith machine (I think). He was working out a dilemma: six 45-lb plates fit on each side of the machine, lessee, that's 12 X 45, or 540 lbs. Then he was trying to balance 2 more plates on top of each side (erm, another 180 plus the original 540 is 720 frikkin' pounds. Let's just say the dude was strong.) Well, he was having difficulty keeping the four plates that wouldn't fit on the spindles on top of the horizontal stacks: each time he tried the shrug, the plates on top would topple off. I debated internally about going over to help keep them balanced but I resisted, I guess out of old unwarranted fears. Anyway, I ducked into the lockerroom to grab a towel out of my bag since I was starting to throw off the holy living waters, and when I returned, another guy was doing what I'd considered, chatting him up, trying to figure out how to help him. He was still unable to get the weights to stay up, since there really needed to be a spot on either side, but I still resisted going over to help. Eventually, he decided against using the extra plates on top and satisfied himself with the spindled weight, and looked mighty fine doing that, let me tell you. As he finished unloading his plates, I found the courage to approach him.

"Can I ask how you usually train lat (sic) traps if you're stronger than the machine?" He smiled and spoke in a friendly, helpful way, exlplaining how he usually used the upright squat rack, where he could load more weight, or the hack squat rack, where he did some version of one-armed shrugs. I was having trouble following his track since I was paying half of my attention to my body, which was trembling in the lower extremities, a probable physical expression of the fear I'd been struggling with in the first place. Now, talking to the big friendly guy I could show my body no harm would come to it, but the shakes continued until I stopped the conversation, which ended with a suprise: I asked how long he'd been bodybuilding, and he said he'd only been training for 2 1/2 years. I must have given an incredulous "wow" or something, I just know he reacted with a "yeah, that's what everybody says."

Now the clincher. I asked him how old he was. He said he was 22. I know I said "Wow, that's really impressive" and my brain was kind of reeling, taking in his size, and his condition, and his friendliness, and his age, and I was in this happy, basking mood just being so close to this superman. We went our seperate ways, and he went on to do some leg work (which he was pretty vocal doing on his final 2 or 3 reps of each set, with a loud, sexy, breathy moan.)

Another big guy, though not conditioned like the shrugger, wanted to work in with me on the incline bench. He was young, blond, handsome, a little distracted with his i-pod, but very friendly, helping me load and unload plates, letting me know he could help spot if I needed, even though I was rather self-consciously moving rather light weights (I was benching with 75 lbs, and he was benching 185.) Finally, he introduced himself as Curtis, and I returned the gesture. Sweet.

One other guy worth mentioning, a tall young man, maybe 6'2" or 6'3", with a slightly dorky nerd-jock face, but awesome calves (best in the room) and thick and strong arms and shoulders. I saw him doing military presses with 70 and 80 lbs. dumbells, with a little assistance from others. All in all, it seems like a good cameraderie at 24hour Fitness.

May it continue!

Let me just remind the universe to keep sending me opportunities to help, to allow me to overcome my fear, and keep me on the path.

Summertime

Muscle, muscle everywhere, and not an arm to squeeze.

Okay. This is my brain on Sthenolagnia, the name provided by psychology to describe sexual arousal by displays of strength or muscularity. I'm guessing this is just an overpronounced, compulsive/obsessive version of the almost universal admiration by humanity for the idealized human form. Why ancient Egypt and Greece, the Rennaisance sculptors and painters, and modern photography and webcammers have across time and space chosen to hold up the muscular male body for perpetual view.

Cuz the thing is, I want to see it all the time. I want the image to be in my eyes, I'd like to be able to touch it, feel it, squeeze it, observe it performing, flexxing, exerting, stretching. Full-body. Close-up. In focus. Don't stop until I'm satisfied. And then let's do it again when I'm ready. Tomorrow. Or in a few minutes.

And humans aren't really set up to perform this way. I am 38 years old and have yet to find a body or set of bodies willing to provide me with on-demand entertainment. So we have sculpture. Painting. Photography. GMPics. ezboard Teen Muscle Guys Photos and World of Men and Bodybuilders, Inc. Stories and threads at Muscle Growth Evolution Home Page.

Presently, I am 5'11", which I've been since I was a Junior in highschool. Only then I was 129 lbs with a 29 inch waist, and now I am 195 lbs with a 40 inch waist. For the last 10 years or so, I have been slowly adding bulk to my frame, secretly and slowly building muscle so as not to grotesquely admit to what I was doing to others. Let is sneak up on them. But it also allowed me to take it at my own pace. Slow. Steady. Without the judgment, advice, and fussing of friends and family. Though I have had a bit from all sides.

And now I've reached a goal weight that I set for myself at the start of this journey, barely believing it, but getting here all the same.

Here are comparisons of my body measurements from August 2001 to the present::

August 2002 June 2005 Goal: June 2006
Neck 15" 16.25" 17"
Shoulders 46" 47.75" 48"
Chest 42.5" 44.75" 45"
Waist 37" 40.5" 34"
Hips 37.5" 40.75" 38"

Bi/Tri 13" 14" 15"
Forearm 11" 12.5" 13"
Wrist 6.5" 7" 7.25"

Up.Quad 23" 24.5" 25"
MidQuad 21" 22.5" 23"
LoQuad 17.5" 18.25" 19.5"
calf 14.75 16" 16.5"

At my goal stats, one year from now, I'm not too concerned about my weight. I think I'd like to be between 175-195. I've seen some amazing bodies at 175, and my goal is lean, dense muscle. Keep or increase flexibility. Increase stamina.

Right now I am going to the gym once a week, starting about 2 months ago. I am up to 18 minutes on the eliptical trainer (16 minutes at 70 rpm, cool down at 50 rpm 2 min.) I do 1 week pulling, 1 week pushing, 1 week legs. Core I've been inconsistant on, and I need to focus here, especially for my goals, so I will develop a twice a week regimen and build from there.

More soon!